fathlete

This is the first entry in this journal, and it will always be at the top of this page.

( Here's the story so far... )
( Progress Graphs and Pictures )

About on week two of eating about 90% vegan (1200-1400 cals a day, most of the time), plus doing turbulence training (i.e.intense weight lifting) three days a week, cardio on the other three, and one rest day.

The scale hasn't budged.  Neither has the tape measure.

Trying to breathe and give it time.  Surely I'm not <i>destined</i> to be in the 170s forever.

I haven't updated much in the last 6 mos.

Nothing is wrong and nothing bad has happened. :) I am still maintaining my weight in the low 170s despite all efforts to get it into the 160s. I am just really super busy with my real life, and I haven't felt much urge to write about weight loss and exercise.

It occurred to me today, however, that I sort of failed at my initial goal (described in the first post on my LJ). It's more than a year since I returned to LJ and to my program, and I did not reach my goal weight or get my BMI into the "normal" range by Sept 9 2010.

I can't say I feel like I failed, though. I mean, I'm about 14 lbs. away from my goal, and I really DO hope to get to 160 or below, eventually. But my body is being so danged stubborn, and I all can think is that it needs some kind of period of adjustment, and that it needs to get used at this weight before it will be ready to shed any more fat.

I did have a session with a trainer who swore up and down that he could get me down to my goal weight in 12 weeks time. For only $1700. Gulp. Yeah, I don't have that kind of money, and there are no money-back guarantees, either. When I sat down to talk with him after our workout he seemed positively floored that I had lost so much weight on my own, "without a trainers help." When we talked about nutrition and I told him about my eating habits, he said "well, I usually tell people to eat 500 calories less a day but...that's not going to be an option with you." And then he sat there, stumped and thinking about how he would get me down to my goal weight like he said he would. Finally, he started talking about how weight-training would really take my goals to the next level. I told him that I already do weight-train, that I do P90X, that I run and stair-step and ellipticize. He still insisted that I needed HIM to get to my goal. And then he started talking about vitamin supplements.

Methinks that he needs me more than I need him. $1700 is a lot of cash. Vitamin supplements not included.

Anyway, that's the state of me. I'll report back with any big progress in the next few weeks, should I have any. I did recently make a big change to my diet in that I'm almost entirely vegan now, so we'll see if that does anything or not. I still eat meat and dairy very occasionally, but yeah, probably 80% vegan, I'd say? I mean, why not? I was doing tons of protein before and that didn't do anything, and you know what they say: insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

Which reminds me, I really want to take a martial arts class! Any recommendations? For some reason, I like the idea of Kung Fu. Probably because Bruce Lee rocks.

Nope, no. I will always give a shit.

Well, okay, maybe not if I am 80 years old or dying of a terminal illness or something. When things get to that point, I plan to just kick back with some nice drugs and ride out the rest of my days. Yeus.

Let me explain:

A woman I work with has been oddly...odd about my weight loss. She says something about it almost every time she sees me, and it's sort of complimentary, sort of not.

When I came back to work after the summer off, she looked me up and down and said "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight. Taking it kind of far, aren't you?"

I didn't know what to say. I'm still technically overweight, after all.

"You just look really fabulous!" she added, grinning. Was the first comment meant to be rude? Or did it come out rude without her meaning to? I don't know, she's hard to figure out. She's a very blunt person, someone who doesn't mince words. She's also overweight herself, has type two diabetes, and is probably 20 years older than me.

And then another day I said hi to her in the hall and she ignored me, then promptly chased me down and said "Gosh, I'm so sorry, I didn't even know that it was you! Sometimes I look at you and I don't register who you are for a second because you've just lost SO. MUCH. WEIGHT."

Okay? I'm still pretty recognizable.

And then yesterday, our department had a potluck. Lots of tempting food, but healthy choices, too. As I was helping to clean it all up, I mentioned that I was going to run out to the campus gym for a workout before our next meeting. She said, idly "Well, why would you want to do that?" Then she paused and said: "oh, right, you lost all that weight, couldn't have done that without the gym, eh?" I nodded and said yes. She let out a weird, cynical laugh and said: "You know what, El? One day you'll wake up and realize you just don't give a shit." She then started telling me about how she used to run all the time, weighed 128 lbs, and after her third divorce she just said "fuck it!" and finally started "living a real life."

Bitter bitter bitter.

Why should I be the focus of someone's resentment because I DO give a shit?

My life is real, thanks.

I'm not sure a "real" life where you need to take medication to control your diabetes would be preferable.

Starting weight: 231 lbs.
Last weigh-in: 178 lbs.
This weigh-in: 177 lbs.
This week's loss/gain: -1 lbs.
Total loss: 54 lbs.

My last weigh-in was posted June 30, so in a month I've lost 1 pound.

One. freaking. pound.

A loss is a loss, but damn, sometimes I just get so effing frustrated because it feels like I am busting my ass and more or less maintaining. At one point about two weeks ago I was at 176, and then a week later (a week that was no different from the rest, diet/exercise wise) I woke up at 186. WHAT. GIVES?

Even my boyfriend remarked to me the other day "I don't understand why you're not at your goal weight yet....you eat less and work out more than anyone else I know, and that includes skinny people."

And I don't know if I'm ovulating or what (too early for PMS), but my workout sucked today. I went for my usual Thurs-morning 3.88 mile run, and was exhausted half-way through it and had to stop. Likely this is because my bod is so sore from tuesday's weight-lifting. But yeah, I need to burn some more calories before the day is out, so I guess it's off to the gym with me in a few hours.

Meh.

Starting weight: 231 lbs.
Last week's weight: 179 lbs.
This week's weight: 178 lbs.
This week's loss/gain: -1 lbs.
Total loss: 53 lbs.

One pound down, eighteen to go.

Wow. Eighteen pounds to goal. Kind of stunning, really. Eighteen pounds doesn't sound like a terrible lot, does it? But can I get there by Sept. 9? If I don't, it's not the end of the world, since I know that it WILL happen, eventually...however, if it did happen by Sept 9 I would feel mighty triumphant!

I will be visiting friends in another state from Fri-Mon, so this weekend is potentially dangerous territory since I will probably be eating out more and working out less. My goal, then, is to maintain.

Who knows, though...sometimes I come back from these short trips having LOST weight. Wouldn't that be nice!

I think it's time I started doing these kinds of posts again.

Starting weight: 231 lbs.
Last week's weight: 179 lbs.
This week's weight: 179 lbs.
This week's loss: 0 lbs.
Total loss: 52 lbs.

I'm losing weight so slowly now that I wasn't really expecting a loss, so I'm not troubled at all by simply having maintained.

Sometimes I do stop and wonder, though, WHY am I losing weight so slowly? I ripped it off like a mad fiend from September to January, then experienced my first slow down after the New Year, and by March, things slowed down even further.

The only answer I can come up with is that my body has adjusted to a lower-calorie intake, a super-high level of activity, and has learned to compensate for both. The only thing I can think to do is keep my eating super balanced and healthy (with occasional splurge days to shake things up) and keep throwing challenging physical activities at my body. And to hold on to my patience.

If anyone has any other ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. For the record, I eat anywhere from between 1100-1400 calories on most days (the majority of them end up right at 1250 cal), with a high calorie day (1800 cal) thrown in every week or two. I exercise at a high intensity level (weight-training circuits, running, plyometric training) 5 to 6 days a week. The food I eat is mostly non-processed/whole-foods/clean-eating type stuff. Lots of fresh veggies, lean protein, etc.

I hear people say that a lot: "listen to your body." As in, "I'm not going to work out today - I'm listening to my body." Or, perhaps in more dubious cases: "I need some sugar, my body is telling me it wants sugar!"

The thing is, my body has, in the past, been a big greedy pig, and when I listened to it back then, I ended up gaining almost 80 lbs in two years. I listened to it ask for little debbie snack cakes, double quarter pounders with cheese, and copious, endless amounts of french fries. It was like listening to an addict.

My body is officially the body that cried wolf, and I've been hesitant to listen to it ever since.

But there are days when the transmission from my body can't be ignored. Today is one of those. It actually started talking to me after yesterday's workout. I ran 5K in 30 minutes, which was a first for me (the 30 minutes, not the 5K, which means I was running between 5.8-6.2 mph the whole time...not bad!). Then I finished out with another 30 minutes of high-incline walking. After I popped off the treadmill, I felt pretty beat. No worries, though, as I often feel beat after a workout. Ten minutes later, though, when the "high" usually sets in, I still felt like crap. My quads were a little sore, but what really made me want to sit down was weariness. I felt absolutely exhausted: the exact opposite of the invigoration I usually feel after a good workout.

So I took it easy last night and ate a heavier meal that usual to help me refuel. Even so, I woke up this morning feeling like I still needed more recovery. My body's order of the day, then, is a glass of freshly juiced veg and fruit (spinach-celery-cucumber-carrot-apple juice, my new favorite juice jam) and NO EXERCISE.

A rest day today, because my body is SCREAMING for one. Can't (and shouldn't) ignore that!

1. 7. 9.

I was in the 180s for SO VERY LONG... I never thought I'd get into the 170s! I hope they don't last as long as the 180s did!

note - this post is x-posted to 100pounds2lose

So I recently hit 180 on the scale, which puts me at twenty pounds away from my goal of 160. It felt auspicious to me that I hit 180 on more or less my birthday. I'm 35 now, and while it sounds rather "old" in my head, I'm absolutely blown away by how much healthier and younger I feel now than I did when I was 25 years old and probably 280 pounds.

To celebrate and acknowledge my accomplishments, I would like to share some progress pictures with you. I know I've been PROMISING to do that for ages, but now I've finally gotten my act together and done it!

First, a little reminder info:

Highest Weight - 294 lbs
Weight when I began posting on LJ - 235 lbs
Current Weight - 180 lbs
Goal Weight - 160 lbs

( And now, some pictures! )